We Tried Whole30 – Here’s What We Thought

5 / 31 / 17

“Mommy, is that Whole30?” asked my four year old.
I answered, “No.”
“Why?” he responded, paused, and then offered his own answer, “Sugar?”
“That’s right, buddy.”
He grinned and said, “I knew you’d say that!”.

We’ve just finished our second Whole30 as a family and my little guy has the rules down to a “T”.

Chances are you’ve had a friend post on their Facebook about doing a Whole30 – or maybe you’ve done one of your own. In case you’re not familiar with the concept, Whole30 is a month-long food challenge that’s all about resetting your food habits and gently detoxing a little. For the month, you are charged to not eat grains, sugar, legumes, dairy, or alcohol. Basically, eats lots of fruits, veggies, and meat.

As I’ve already mentioned, this was our second Whole30. Here are a few observations that we’ve made from our experiences (in no particular order).

You’re going to spend a lot of time in the kitchen. Just know that you’re going to be chopping a lot of veggies for a few weeks. You’ll need to add some extra minutes to your cooking time each day.
There will be hard days… and some days you’ll soar right on through. Some days you’ll really, really want chocolate. Normal. Other days you’ll be surprised by yourself and find that you’re actually enjoying the changes you’ve made.
You HAVE to plan ahead. A meal plan (for each meal of the day) is non-optional, otherwise you WILL step off plan and you WILL get to start over at Day 1 again. More about that in a minute.
Leftovers and batch cooking are your friends. I suggest cooking a little extra at dinner – or making an extra dish for the week – to have for lunch leftovers or to pull out for a quick meal on unexpectedly busy days.
You’re going to need a lot of food on hand. This might be a good time to consider shopping at a store like Aldi’s to preserve your grocery budget or to invest in a Sam’s or Costco membership to make buying in larger quantities a little more feasible. Either way, fruits and veggies don’t fill you up like pastas and breads. Plan accordingly.
You’ll be proud of your accomplishment. At the end of a successful Whole30 you’ll be able to look back and be genuinely proud of yourself. You’ve said no to indulgences for a full month without wavering. Cheers!
It’s worth it. You’ll likely feel considerably better after a month of clean eating. Some things my husband and I have noticed include less brain fog and feeling more rested upon waking in the morning.

Planning Meals
I mentioned that planning ahead with your meals is critical to a Whole30 that’s on plan. I suggest planning either a week of meals at a time or the whole month if you have the time. We’ve created a Whole30 meal planning template for you to download and print for free! Click here to get it: WHOLE30 MEAL PLAN

I’m also going to share some breakfast and lunch ideas and our full dinner plan for the entire 30 days. (You can find a lot more recipes online. Pinterest can be a really helpful resource, just be aware that not every meal tagged as Whole30 will follow the exact guidelines and you may need to make some tweaks.)

Breakfasts
Personally, I feel like breakfasts are the most challenging part of the Whole30 to provide some variety. Here are some ideas:

Scrambled Eggs with fruit on the side
Fried Eggs with Bacon (you’ll likely need to go to a health food store to find appropriate bacon)
Turkey Sausage with sliced avocados, tomatoes, and or fruit on the side.
Sweet Potato Hash with Aidell’s Chicken Apple Sausage (most groceries carry this – note that this is the only variety of Aidell’s sausage that is Whole30 approved).
Monkey Salad (a tasty mix of cashews, almond butter, bananas, blueberries, and shredded coconut – helpful if you’re missing breakfast cereal)
Mashed Sweet Potatoes with bananas, nuts, etc. (helpful if you’re missing hot cereal)

Lunches
Lunches are hard for me to plan. Most of the time, I prefer to just make extra dinner the night before and serve that up for a quick lunch. That doesn’t always happen, so here are a few ideas for lunches.

Vegetable Soup (a pound of ground beef, a few bags of frozen veggies, and some broth can net you a big pot of soup that you can eat off of for days.
Chicken Nuggets – Without a lot of time you can have a large pan full of these for quick lunches or even a protein snack. Serve with applesauce or cut veggies.
Salads (Keep some shredded chicken on hand to throw on a bed of lettuce along with whatever fruits, veggies, and/or nuts that you like. We like using the Tessemae’s Lemon dressing.)
Baked Potatoes with taco meat or shredded chicken are tasty and filling.
Lunchmeat with veggies, fruit, and pickles. It can be challenging to find an approved lunch meat, so you’ll have to do some leg work to see what the store’s in your area carry, but it’s nice to have on a hand for a super quick lunch to pull out.
Dinners
This is our full dinner meal plan from our second Whole30. I’ve linked to as many recipes as I possibly can to make this a quick grab-n-go resource for you.

Day 1: Orange Glazed Salmon, Roasted Potatoes, Asparagus
Day 2: Taco Bowls (Cauliflower Rice, Taco Meat, Chopped Tomatoes, Avocado, and Cilantro)
Day 3: Chicken Nuggets, Oven Fries, Cooked Carrots
Day 4: Date Night! We brought Whole30 approved meals in from Snap Kitchen. More about that in a few…
Day 5: Family Night! Every spring my husband’s work hosts a family night for the employees. We were able to partake of the meal by eating hamburgers without a bun, mustard, sliced tomatoes, and pickles
Day 6: Roast (in my Instant Pot), Green Beans, Cooked Carrots
Day 7: Sliders with Guacamole and W30 approved Bacon (it’s sometimes easier to find approved salami, which is crisp in a skillet – dead ringer for bacon), with Oven Fries, and Strawberries and Bananas
Day 8: Orange Glazed Chicken, Spaghetti Squash, Green Beans with slivered almonds
Day 9: Taco Stuffed Sweet Potatoes (taco meat, avocados, and sliced tomatoes)
Day 10: Almond Crusted Chicken (no yogurt and only use Whole30 compliant mayo – I just use an egg dip instead while we’re on the Whole30), Mashed Potatoes (use coconut oil instead of butter) and Green Beans
Day 11: Date Night! We brought Whole30 approved meals in from Snap Kitchen. More about that in a few…
Day 12: Creamy Taco Soup
Day 13: Korean Beef Bowls with Cauliflower Rice and Broccoli (This was a big hit in our family!)
Day 14: Mother’s Day Meat Fest! (I requested a special meal for Mother’s Day – a grill full of various meats. We chose BBQ Chicken using this sauce, Pork Chops, Steak, and Aidell’s Chicken Apple Sausage.)
Day 15: Pulled BBQ Chicken (using the same sauce as Day 14), Sweet Potato Fries, and Green Beans.
Day 16: Dinner with Family! We visited my in-law’s this day. They were so kind to fix us a Whole30 meal of Grilled Chicken and Veggies.
Day 17: Date Night! We brought Whole30 approved meals in from Snap Kitchen. More about that in a few…
Day 18: Spaghetti Squash and Meatballs (using this sauce recipe, minus the sugar.)
Day 19: Orange Chicken with Cauliflower Rice and Broccoli.
Day 20: Pulled BBQ Chicken (using the same sauce as Day 14) and Green Beans.
Day 21: Creamy Chicken Enchilada Soup
Day 22: Shepherd’s Pie (my own recipe – coming to the blog soon!)
Day 23: Sweet Potato Chili
Day 24: Grilled Burgers, Aidell’s Chicken Apple Sausage, Roasted Potatoes, Tomatoes, and Bubbies brand Pickles
Day 25: Date Night! We brought Whole30 approved meals in from Snap Kitchen. More about that in a few…
Day 26: Oven Roasted Whole Chicken, Green Beans, and Carrots
Day 27: Green Salsa Chicken Tacos (I cooked chicken breast in the crockpot covered in a green salsa, shredded, and served in romaine leaves topped with avocado.)
Day 28: Creamy Ham & Potato Soup
Day 29: Mexican Steak with Avocado Salsa (People! This was amazing! My favorite meal of the Whole30.)
Day 30: Hamburger Soup

FAQs
Do your kids participate? YES! Why not instill some good habits and expose them to some new flavors while they’re young? I will say that we allowed them to go off plan about 10% during the month.

Do you make any tweaks? Minimal tweaks. We occasionally allowed peas and allowed more potatoes than is probably typical. The reason for this is because I’m nursing and needed to be sure to get plenty of carbs.

Was your milk supply impacted, as a nursing mom? Yes, but not in the way you’re thinking. I pump twice daily (at the same times of day), so I have a fairly good handle on what my normal output is. To my own surprise my supply actually increased by several ounces daily.

What about eating out? Eating out is extremely challenging. There are precious few places that can accommodate W30 eating. Snap Kitchen however has MANY options that are completely Whole30 compliant! They have locations in several large cities including Dallas/Fort Worth, Houston, Chicago, Philadelphia, and more! Because we love you, we’re giving you a coupon for $10 off your first order! Simply enter this code when you order online: LWES-CTM from www.snapkitchen.com.

What about my grocery budget? Not going to lie… We went over our grocery budget during our W30. We personally are okay with that since it’s a short period of time (just a month) and view it as an investment in our health and well-being. Other cleanses and health programs cost money, too. HOWEVER, as we went on we found a few hacks for making it a little more budget friendly. One of our best tips is to make a big pot of soup once or twice a week. We loved every soup we tried and we have leftovers every single time. Buy things in season and on sale. Go to Aldi. Avoid unusual ingredients most of the time (coconut aminos is tasty, but it’s expensive, y’all!). Stock up on on plan foods at Sam’s or Costco.

Any confessions? Yes. I’m tired of sweet potatoes. And I really like sweet potatoes. In full disclosure, I have a nursing baby with a sensitive stomach – he can’t tolerate eggs yet, so my breakfasts were almost 100% sweet potato hash.

Did you lose any weight? Whole30 is NOT a weight loss program. It’s all about instilling good habits and doing some gentle, whole foods based cleansing. However, because you’re cutting things like sugar and carbs, weight loss isn’t uncommon. I’m a nursing mom – and weight loss while nursing DOES NOT come easy for me. I lost 12 lbs. during our Whole30. Hip, hip, hooray!

What is your first post Whole30 splurge? Sorry to disappoint…. but I’m not splurging just yet. There’s a Whole30 food reintroduction protocol that we’ve chosen to follow.

Have you ever considered Whole30 – or completed Whole30? Let us know what you thought about it!

Why You Should Wear All the Babies

4 / 10 / 17

Be sure to read to the end to learn about our giveaway with True North Ring Slings.

When a new baby joins the family, the pace of life inevitably slows. The priorities shift to feedings, diapers, cuddles, and nap times. One thing that doesn’t go away is the daily routine of meals, errands, laundry, and tidying. Mom’s hands are full and her plate just got fuller.

I remember well how overwhelmed I felt as a first time mom four years ago! Simple tasks like folding laundry suddenly seemed impossible… they needed to be done, but not at the expense of sacrificing time with my baby.

Enter the time-honored, global tradition of babywearing. I loved that I could snuggle my baby and still stay on top of the daily happenings. With my second born, I discovered another plus: it made snuggles easier during those long, hard days of teething. Now, with my third baby, I’m loving that I can still keep up with my toddlers and keep my baby close by.

What carriers have I tried? What are the pros and cons?

Wrap Carriers. My wrap-style carrier (think Moby, Solly, etc.) was my initiation into babywearing. It gave me the courage I needed to go grocery shopping for the very first time alone with the baby.
Pros: Soft and stretchy. Readily available. (Even stores like Target and Walmart offer this style)
Cons: Hot. Difficult to use. (Unless you like feeling like a ninja all while juggling a baby)

Soft Structured Carriers. After becoming frustrated with the complicated wrap carrier, I purchased a soft structured carrier (such as a Boba, Ergo, Lillebaby, etc.). It was a great experience, but lacked a few conveniences I desired.
Pros: Supportive. Great for long carries and bigger babies.
Cons: Bulky (you can’t just toss it your diaper bag). Difficult to safely situate newer babies (who often want to be worn more frequently).

Ring Slings. My third baby has been much more picky about being worn. He’s had some pretty difficult tummy issues and needs a lot of Mommy snuggles, but my wrap and structured carriers were met with very low tolerance. At the suggestion of my midwife, I pulled the trigger and purchased a ring sling. He slept for two hours the very first time I wore him. I’ve tried a few different ring slings for fun since they’ve worked so well for us and can safely say, linen (from a company such as True North Ring Slings) is my favorite. The sling took babywearing from something I did for convenience to something I did because I truly loved wearing my baby.
Pros: Even picky babies seem happy in a sling. Easily adaptable from tiny newborns to toddlers. Quick to adjust (I love having an alternative to lugging around a heavy car seat). Strong supportive fabric that’s still soft enough for delicate babies. Compact (can easily fold and stash in your diaper bag for on-the-go days).
Cons: Slight learning curve (well worth it!). Needs a short breaking in period (there are lots of great short cuts and resources for this!)

I strongly believe that next to a quality car seat, my ring sling is the most worthwhile baby equipment purchase we have made. Hands down.

We are THRILLED to be partnering with Alberta-based True North Ring Slings to bring you a giveaway! I recently purchased a beautiful gray ring sling (with to-die-for rose gold rings) from this amazing company. I’ve been nothing short of impressed by their quality and their customer service. I’ve received almost instant responses from them when I’ve reached out with questions – and they’ve been so personable (even giving me the fun fact that I was their first Texas customer!).

Using high-quality linen sourced from Europe, they offer a wonderful range of colors from classic neutrals to vibrant hues. They are unique in that they offer several lengths to choose from (no worries if you’re tall or broad shouldered! They’ve got you covered!). Their slings meet all safety standards (both mandatory and voluntary), so you can rest easy knowing that your baby is safe. More than anything, I love that is company is mommy-owned!

True North is partnering with us to GIVEAWAY a $50 STORE CREDIT* to one lucky reader and a 10% OFF COUPON CODE to all the rest of you!

To enter the giveaway, head over to Instagram and follow us (@canvasandtable) and then (@truenorthringslings). Tag your friends on our Instagram about this baby wearing blog post (you’ll receive an entry for each tag). For a bonus entry, “regram” our post to your personal Instagram!**

To save 10% on your order, simple use this code when you check out: canvasandtable. Offer good through April 20th.

Do you “wear” your baby? Leave a comment below and tell us.

*$50 store credit is CAD (Canadian dollars) as True North is based in Canada.
**Find complete entry instructions on Instagram post

Why I Chose Home Birth

12 / 15 / 1612 / 15 / 16

What makes a gal, born in a traditional hospital setting herself, consider home birth?

Before I share my personal reasons for choosing this route, I would like to clearly state that I in no way wish to disparage the many hardworking and well-educated doctors and nurses that are in our nation. They have my utmost respect! Additionally, my intention is not to indicate that home birth is the only right way. It’s not for everyone — and it doesn’t have to be! That’s a completely personally decision and I respect each mama and the avenue they have chosen. My sole desire is to share a brief glimpse into my own experiences and to satisfy some of the everyday curiosity I encounter when people learn that I birth my babies at home.

I didn’t go into my first pregnancy with a set birth plan in mind. I was born in a traditional hospital setting and I knew several women that I considered peers who had recently chosen home birth. Perhaps the most important thing I could suggest would be open-mindedness. As I did my research, I came to the conclusion for the method of care that I felt was the best fit for myself and my baby. Some of those considerations were….

Age and Health History. I was 22 years old when I got pregnant with my first child. Being young and healthy (really a completely nondescript medical history), my chances statistically for complications were very low. That opened up my options for prenatal care and the actual labor/delivery substantially.
Research. A lot of mystery and misconception surrounds home birth. There are absolutely cases that render it a less safe option, but for the mother with no complications, it’s a great option. Over the summer I attended a premier of a home birth documentary highlighting the pregnancies and home births of more than half a dozen women who were in the medical field (both doctors and L&D nurses). They’ve assembled a lengthy set of websites and articles that lay out the statistics of home birth. Instead of rehashing those numbers here, you can view the entire list on their website (additional information here as well). It’s a great place to get started on researching the safety.
Midwives and Their Training. While the stereotypical image of a midwife includes something like an old grandma in the backwoods, modern midwives are incredibly intelligent individuals. There are a range of certifications and the requirements vary by state, but generally the individual must have completed a 3 year academic course, 4 years of hands-on training and have attended a minimum number of births as an assistant. All in all, this gives them a well-rounded education with a specialty in pregnancy and birth.
Customized Care. With a midwife, you have standard prenatal care: monitoring Baby’s heart rate, growth, position, and overall wellbeing, as well as frequent monitoring of Mom’s vitals and overall health. A bonus that appeals to me is access to the extensive knowledge that a midwife offers for nutrition and alternative medicine. The result is comprehensive care for mother and baby, particular to the needs of that pregnancy.
Contingency Plan. Perhaps one of the most common concerns I hear voiced to me about home birth is the question of what happens if something goes wrong during labor. Mom and Baby are under close watch during labor and delivery. If anything begins to take a turn, a good midwife quickly makes arrangements for more involved medical care. (I’ve heard both midwives and L&D nurses in my area describe the working relationship they have with each other as one of the best in the nation.)
Familiarity. One of the biggest appeals to me is that the midwife who has seen me from week 12 of my pregnancy on will absolutely be the one who delivers my baby. In addition, the assistant midwife is often introduced to the mama before labor ever begins, adding to the familiarity with the birth team.
Home Sweet Home. Your first contractions are at home, you transition at home, you push at home, deliver at home, get all cleaned up at home, and then crawl into your own comfortable bed with your cuddly newborn when your hard day’s work is complete.

That’s all well and good… but have you actually HAD a home birth to speak with any experience? Yes’m, I have! Twice. My firstborn was delivered in my living room and my second son was born in our bedroom. Both very different experiences and both equally endearing, successful, safe, and peaceful. Our third child is due within a month and if all goes as planned, we anticipate his arrival at home, as well.
What all is involved in prenatal care when choosing home birth? In my experience, it’s included lab work (both for basic OB panels and for addressing hormonal imbalances), sonograms (at least one at about 20 weeks to do a full anatomy scan of baby), frequent prenatal check-ups (something like 12-15 exams before delivery), and more.
What is it like preparing to have a baby in your home? In addition to the usuals (i.e. setting up the crib, washing and organizing baby clothes, buying hundreds of diapers), your midwife will give you a list of things to have rounded up for the actual birth. In my case, my midwife tells me where online to order my actual birth supplies, plus a few general things (like lots of towels) to have in a common spot.
Is it messy? I’ll wager that birth in any setting is “messy”, but as far as any lasting evidence… No, it’s not messy. Within a couple hours of giving birth, any lasting evidence (aside from a snuggly newborn) is completely gone. My team of midwives are angels – cleaning Baby and myself up, scrubbing bath tubs, starting loads of laundry, disposing of used supplies, etc.

Here’s the bottom line… Home birth isn’t for everyone, but I think it’s an option that everyone should research and give value to. Birth in a home or in a hospital bed is miraculous and memorable!

Leave a comment below and tell us…. Where did you birth your babies and what did you love about the experience?

The 2016 Canvas & Table Gift Guide for Men, Women, & Children

11 / 22 / 1611 / 22 / 16

*Begin Jingle Bells*
It’s that time of the year, folks! Christmas is just weeks away and your Christmas shopping list is awaiting your magic touch. You pile into the car, swing through the driveway for a tall PSL or peppermint mocha, wait for an hour at the mall for a parking space to free up…. and then it hits you. You have no idea what to buy that special person on your shopping list. Drat.

*Cue Magic Harp Effect*
Not to worry. We’ve put together an expansive guide to help your Christmas shopping come to a satisfying end. (Gift wrap and shipping not included.)

Monthly Box Gifts
A really fun trend right now are curated boxes, created to appeal to the special interests of your special person. Many of them offer 1 month or 3 month options (or you can go ahead and gift a full year if you budget accommodates).
•Ipsy. For the gal in your life who loves to experiment with makeup, Ipsy sends a cute little bag, plus 5 trial size makeup and skin care items. ($10/mo)
•LitJoy Crate. What a fun idea for your kids, grandkids, nieces and nephews, or other cool kid on your list. Each monthly box consists of 2 or 3 specially chosen books (that are selected based on the age of said cool kid, starting as young as 2 years old). Also included are special learning toys, snacks, or crafts ideas that go along with the book themes. ($29/mo)
•Harry’s. Help your dude stay sharp and gift him with fresh blades and shaving products. (Starting at $3/mo)
•Happy Mail (from A Beautiful Mess). With $50 worth of stationary, paper pads, wall artprints, and more, it’s completely obvious why this monthly box is called “Happy Mail”! They also offer a similar box that majors in craft supplies. (As low as $15/mo)
•She Reads Truth Autoship. Give the gift of intentional and focused time in God’s Word. Each month your recipient will receive at least one beautiful study guide (some for topical studies and some covering solitary books of the Bible). There’s a version for men as well. ($24/mo)
•Graze. For the person whose love language is food, send them a box full of specialty snacks. Boxes are customizable for likes and dislikes; however this is probably not ideal for people with nut or wheat allergies. ($11.99/mo)
•BarkBox. This is for the dog person on your list. Each box includes a special assortment of treats, toys, and other goodies especially for Fido. (Begins at $20/mo)
•Date Box. A great couples’ gift. Each box includes an assortment of specially curated date night activities (with a new theme each month, such as travel) to help couples plan more meaningful date nights at home. (Ranges from $27-$35/mo)
•FabFitFun Box. This is the “new thing” in boxes, because it is a huge box with tons of stuff (to the tune of $200 dollar’s worth) and it comes quarterly (but we’re putting it in here, anyway). Look out for some coupons as several have been offering them for up to $10 off your first box. (Ranges from $45-$50/quarter)

Gifts of Experience
There’s a growing trend that we LOVE and that is giving gifts that don’t amount to simply more “things”. This is ideal for individuals who don’t really need anything, for those who are working towards minimalism, or for young families who might not need more toys, but would love to add to the treasury of family memories. Plus, in a culture of millennials who love to experience, you can hardly go wrong with one of these.
•Movie Tickets. Because everyone enjoys a show now and again!
•Concert Tickets. Consider giving this gift “early” and making it tickets to a special Christmas concert.
•Yearly Passes. Zoo, museum, aquarium, etc. would all be wonderful places to for individuals and families alike to visit several times over the course of a year.
•Travel Cube. Earmark money for travel and gift them this cube so they can begin saving for those trips they’ve been wanting to go on!

Gifts with a Purpose
Some people prefer to have donations made in their honor to carefully selected charities or causes. If you aren’t sure where to start, take a look at this shortlist of some organizations we’ve selected:
•Compassion International. With donation options beginning at less than $10, this is a creative way to give to families in need around the world, equipping them with the skills & tools they need to get out of poverty.
•KOFAEL. This non-profit operates in Haiti, giving women micro-loans to help them start a business and prevent children from unnecessarily entering orphanages due to lack of income in the family.
•Show Hope. This organization both provides medical care to orphans in China and helps funds adoption aid & grants across the globe. With a belief in family preservation and reunification before adoption, due to the large amount of children in orphanages whose families simply can’t afford them, Show Hope stewards their contributions towards doing what is best for the child & family.
•King’s Ransom Foundation. An incredibly well-planned effort in some of the most impoverished places in the world to establish villages, improve the quality of life, and empower families to live sustainably within their community. Every penny goes directly to the actual effort, not administrative costs.
•Fair Trade Gifts. While not a direct monetary donation, it’s a nice way to purchase from international artisans and insure that they are being paid fairly, instead of being taken advantage of, for cheap labor. Look up Ten Thousand Villages, Fair Indigo, or Global Goods Partners to get started. You’ll find everything from home goods, coffee, chocolate, jewelry and beyond.

Good Reads
For the person in your life who loves a good book, consider these gift options:
•Personal Library Kit. The perfect gift for the friend who has an extensive library and hates losing their books to friends who don’t return, this kit is a great way to make your friend laugh and set them up to start enjoying lending out books again with this fun library retention set.
•A Book Lover’s Journal. This journal is the perfect tool for the die-hard book fan, who wants to keep a record of the books they’ve read, journal their reviews, and much, more more.
•Bookworm Journal. Much like the above-mentioned journal, this is perfect for kids and their parents to enjoy together!
•Snack Kits. Have you ever been invited to a reading party? Something you’re sure to find is some snacks to enhance the experience. Give you gift-loving friend the gift of reading snacks- choose from all natural snack kits, cheese and meat samplers, fruit trays, tea sets, and more.
•Magnolia Story. Magnolia Market at the Silos in Waco, Texas have been a smashing success from the dynamic duo behind HGTV’s Fixer Upper. Their story of faith is hilarious, heart-warming, and may make you shed a tear or two.
•Farm Anatomy. A super fun guide to all things agriculture for families to look through.
•The Compound Effect. Have an entrepreneur on your gift list? This book from the man at the helm of SUCCESS magazine is an affordable way to help your friend or family member make the most of the coming year, with tried and true success strategies for compounding the results of your efforts.
•How to Win Friends and Influence People. Give the gift of time-honored personal development training.
•StrengthsFinder 2.0. For the person in your life who loves learning more about themselves, this nationally best-selling program gives them access to discovering their top 5 natural strengths.
•The Best Yes. This book comes from the president of Proverbs 31 Ministries and is the perfect gift for the woman in your life seeking to grow in making wise decisions about what she puts her hands to.
•Daily Devotional. Want to give a gift that last all year long? Consider these choices from Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes, Charles Stanley, A.W. Tozer, Myles Munroe, Beth Moore, and more.
•Sacred Marriage. Perfect for the Christian couples in your life, married and unmarried, the premise of this book is, “what if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy?”.
•The Chronicles of Narnia or The Lord of the Rings. Oldies but goodies, these book sets are perfect for the fantasy lover in your life.

Gag Gifts
Everyone knows that person who loves to give and receive humorous gifts- and if that’s you (or the person on your list), look no further! We’ve got you covered.
•Hangry Kits. That’s right; there is no better way to tell someone that sometimes they can tend to get a bit cranky when they’re hungry than with a fantastic Hangry kit, a box simply filled with plenty of packages for a snack attack. This is ideal for you not-so-health-conscious friend who regularly experiences snacking emergencies.
•Coffee Brewer + Shower Head Combo. It might seem a bit outlandish to spend nearly $7 on a box, but giving your friend or family member a coffee maker-showerhead combo (with your real gift inside this Prank Pack) and seeing all the looks you get is so worth it. Perfect for that person who loves time management or coffee a liiiittle too much.
•An Attachable Arm. iArm, another Prank Pack, gives the phone or tablet lover in your life something that pokes fun at how much they love their technology.
•Bacon Bandages. Know someone who really loves bacon? Get them the bandages to make them feel better all throughout the year.
•Muffin Tops silicone muffin molds. One word: Minions.
•Like and Dislike Stamps. Perfect for your opinionated friends with pent-up energy this election season!
•Unicorn Gold Toilet Spray. This toilet spray is for before-you-squat and great for practical use & giggles. Want to make a DIY version? Try our fabulous recipe here.
•Mermaid Tail Blanket. Oh, it’s a very real trend and some woman in your life would love to have one, too.

Games
•Exploding Kittens. The game that has taken young adults everywhere by storm, this is perfect for the millennial crowd to have some fun staying alive to win it all.
•Pie Face. Another of the year’s most popular games, this game is great for children and adults alike who don’t care about getting their faces dirty.
•Watch Ya’ Mouth. The last of this year’s big hitters, this game is much more sanitary than you might think- it includes 10 mouth retractors (to be washed after each game, of course) and is a sure way to make the entire family roll laughing (be sure to watching the video at this link to fully understand the game).
•Battle of the Sexes. This oldie-but-goodie is great for gatherings, pitting men and women against one another in a game of gender-based common knowledge.
•Pandemic. A fun, yet very challenging cooperative board game.
•Machi Koro. Build your city by collecting cards and rolling dice in this boardless Monopoly-type concept.
•Qwixx. It’s similar to Yahtzee, but with faster game play.
•Ticket to Ride. Highly entertaining and less cut-throat alternative to Risk, your goal is to build your railroad across the country as you follow your mission cards.
•Catan Dice Game. A super light version of the classic strategy game.
•The Game of Life – Electronic Banking. It’s the classic board game – without hundreds of pieces of paper money.

For the Men
•Tree Hut Handmade Wooden Watches. This is such a unique and sharp idea, using bands and watch faces made from bamboo.)
•Slow brand Watches. While this is definitely more of a splurge gift, it’s an unusual concept. Slow Watches utilize a 24 hour watch face to aid you in better pacing your day and budgeting your time.
•Watch Case. A true watch lover has more than a couple watches in his collection, and this case is everything you need to take your guy’s watch game to another level.
•Qalo Silicone Wedding Rings. These rings are perfect for the guy who loves to hike, run, or has an intense occupation that could cause damage to his “nice” wedding band. Because they are silicone, they accommodate for fingers swollen from the heat better than traditional rings. These are super affordable, providing him a way to still wear a ring, without risking an expensive replacement.
•Nice Messenger Bag. Perfect for the guy that needs his laptop available on the go, this sleek design is perfect for the student or tech guy looking to look smart and fashionable and upgrade from a backpack.
•Briefcase. The businessman in your life would appreciate this sturdy man bag, which allows plenty of space for paperwork, gadgets, a computer, and more, while providing a look of finesse at a practical price.
•Beard Balm. For that guy who rocks the beard, help him keep it groomed and soft.
•Beard Oil. A favorite for all bearded men, help them take care of their hair and skin with some essential oil love. (Use our number, 1602685, in both boxes when you order)
•Nintendo Nes Classic Edition. Provide a little retro fun with this blast from the past!
•XBOX One or Playstation 4. Get the guy in your life the most up-to-date console if he enjoys current games and needs a new system.
•Beats Studio Wireless Over-Ear Headphones. You saw Michael Phelps with them at the Summer 2016 Olympics. Why? Because over-ear headphones are all the rage right now and Beats can’t be beat! If your guy loves headphones, he probably wants these. If he prefers ones better for being active, try these instead.
•Tile Key Finder. Because no one likes lost keys and it connects to your smartphone.

For the Women
•Adult Coloring Books. If the woman you’re shopping for is artistic, she is likely to be all about the adult coloring book craze and would be more than happy to get some more to add to her collection.
•Little House on the Prairie Coloring Book. If she loves coloring and literature, the beautiful and quaint pictures from the well-loved Little House on the Prairie series will be just perfect for her!
•Watercolor Pencils. Making water colors cool and easy for adults to use, too!
•Creative Journaling Bible. Let her color and draw in this form of artistic worship in a specially-made Bible, just for this purpose.
•Write the Word Journals. Perfect for those who aren’t artistically bent but love writing, this journal is beautiful and simple.
•A Planner. Set the planner in your life up with something they will absolutely adore all year long!
•Artistic prints. Try one of these or something on Etsy to add some color to the life of the person you’re shopping for.
•New makeup. Check out a list of some favorites here.
•Essential Oils Creme Masque. Give the lady in your life something luxurious for her skin with this fantastic creme masque from Young Living. (Use our number, 1602685, in both boxes when you order)
•Qalo Silicone Wedding Rings. These rings are also great for the athlete, nurse, hairdresser, or stay-at-home-mom-who-washes-dishes-all-day on your list- or anyone else who doesn’t want to risk snagging or dinging their nice ring during their workday.
•Bath Bombs. For any woman interested in relaxing!
•Modern Initial Canvas Tote. These totes are well rated, fabulous, and perfect for the woman who loves a bag in your life.
•Bluetooth Shower Speaker. Because singing in the shower is fun! AND, this is the best way to enjoy a bubble bath with those bath bombs.
•Himalayan Salt Lamp. These are all the rage this year, so be sure to get these for the woman who likes to keep it natural and fresh.
•She Believed She Could So She Did Socks. Perfect for the student, athlete, businesswoman, mom, or just about any woman in your life, these inspirational socks will help the lady you’re buying for feel loved, supported, and believed in.
•Hipster Beanie. Help your dearest hipster stay warm this winter with these fabulous beanies.
•Travel Toiletry Hanging Case. Great for the adventurous student, traveling businesswoman, or anyone in your life that stays away from home from time to time, this bag with help her stay put together.
•Fingerless Mittens. These cute and stylish mittens are perfect for staying warm and fashionable.
•Essential Oils Diffuser. A new diffuser is a great gift for any lady- and make sure to get her some oils while you’re at it, too!

For the Kids
•Noah: A Wordless Picture Book. A truly stunning visual for the Biblical story of Noah, containing only pictures. What a great way for children to follow along, as parents teach this story to them.
•Melissa and Doug Car Carrier. Many kids love this delightfully simple wooden car carrier!
•Count Your Chickens. This is a great introductory board game for youngsters- and we love the fact that it incorporates cooperative game play.
•Theo. This simple, wonderful Biblical storytelling is great for fascinating your children when they get too old for nap time but still need some rest time.
•Soccer Ball. Soccer is only becoming more popular- get a new ball for the little athlete in your life.
•Hatchimals. If you’re in the know about this year’s biggest toy craze, you know these hatching animal toys are almost completely sold out everywhere, leading to a parental craze of stalking all the nearest stores, awaiting new inventory. Due to that, prices are really high at retailers outside of your Target/Toys R Us/Walmart, but stay tuned for when these toys go back to their normal pricing.
•Art Set. The artistic child in your life would love this 131-piece art set, perfect for the budding artist.
•Melissa & Doug Stamp Set. Help them get creative with stamps!
•Melissa & Doug Beading Set. Get one of these for the young girls in your life.
•Pop-up Princess Castle. Great for napping or playing, this adorable castle is perfect for the little princess in your life.
•Pop-Up Play Tent. Let them play with two play areas and a tunnel!
•Walkie Talkies. The intrigue of walkie talkies is still alive for many kids today. Help them explore and imagine with this fun short-range radio.
•Magnet Globe Set. Want to make magnets and globes cool again? Take one look at this, perfect for any child’s room!
•Essential Oils Diffuser. For the oily kids in your life, get them their very own diffuser.
•LED Touch Nightlight. Perfect for kids of any age, this touch nightlight is a great way to add ambiance and a feeling of safety to the room of any kid you know.
•Science Kit. Help the adventurous and intellectual alike learn about STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) principles with this fun kit.
•Race Car Track. Help the real little ones have fun racing with this car track.
•Remote Control Car. Help the older ones race and improve their reaction skills with this gift we all wanted as children.
•LEGO Star Wars Kit. Let them build it with this Star Wars speeder kit.

Want even more ideas? Check out our gift guide from last year for many more gift suggestions! Looking for some smaller ideas? Check out 101 stocking stuffer ideas in our Ultimate Stocking Stuffer Guide!

Disclosure: This post contains Amazon Affiliate links. Should you order through these links, we will receive a referral commission off your purchase from Amazon. Don’t worry- this does not affect the purchase price of the product. Thank you for helping support Canvas & Table and helping us create fresh content!

How Adoption Changed My Life | Part 5: Foster Care & Domestic Adoption

11 / 18 / 1611 / 18 / 16

This week, we have chosen to focus our posts on adoption- in honor of National Adoption Month. During the next week, we will share the stories of five different women whose lives have each been radically impacted by adoption.

Christa and I (Ashley) met on a trip to China with Show Hope in 2010. I’ll never forget trekking the Great Wall of China with her and getting to know her over those two weeks! As Show Hope is an organization with an emphasis on orphan care, we, along with a group of other young women, got acquainted with one another’s hearts for orphan care and adoption at that time. Since then, it has been a joy to watch both of us develop, get married, and to see how Christa’s family has bloomed. Christa’s heart for children is strong and brave, and it is with joy that I present this interview, with Christa’s story of foster care and adoption. Since the time of this interview a couple weeks ago, Christa and her husband have welcomed their new baby girl!

C&T: What are the current demographics of your family?
Christa: Currently, we have a 3 year old bio daughter, a 2 year old adopted son, and a baby on the way (maybe soon- contractions have started making their presence known).

C&T: What led you to consider adoption?
Christa: Honestly, I’ve personally felt called to adoption since I was 4. My first career choice was to be a Batman and Joker mommy. I felt that, since Batman’s mommy had died, he needed someone to care for him, and Joker wouldn’t have been nearly so bad if he had a good mommy. After that, I got good and self-righteous. I said, “How selfish would I have to be to bring a child into the world when there are so many who are waiting for homes!”. Once God got ahold of me about my self-righteousness, I still felt called and, thus, it was a requirement for any man I perspectively might marry that he be on board with adopting. Honestly, after so many years, I was certain that God gave me that vision because I wasn’t going to be able to have biological children. Well, he’s now surprised me with two of them (whom, yes, I love just as much as my adopted son).

C&T: Did you foster before you adopted? Was it a domestic or international adoption? Closed or open?
Christa: Yes, we fostered through Arkansas DCFS. We have been an open foster home for 2.5 years and fostered a few other little boys, before our current son came into our family. It is a closed adoption, due to his previous family situation. We still have pictures of them for his sake, though, and try to pray for them daily.

C&T: How did you decide the when and where of your adoption process?
Christa: Honestly, before we became pregnant with our first daughter, we we planning on International adoption; though, once we had her, God brought more and more people into our lives who were foster parents. We then got introduced to an organization here in Arkansas named The CALL (Children of Arkansas Loved for a Lifetime). The more we learned about the crisis in the foster care system and what these children had been through, the more God led us to foster.

C&T: What have been the top 3 challenges of your experience?
Christa: Only 3?? With it being through DCFS, there were a lot of hoops to jump through, from making our home look like they wanted it, to all the training you have to go through. That was definitely the hardest. The second challenge was letting our other boys go, when it was their time. We loved them with every ounce of our being and watching them leave was heart wrenching. The third I guess would have to be a grief in loss of certain “social standing”. I have been judged for having African American children, judged for using WIC at the grocery store, told that I was a bad mom for how I was handling my screaming infant, who was simply screaming because he had only been with me a few days, and the list goes on.

C&T: What have been the top 3 joys of your experience?
Christa: Again, only 3? Oh my, seeing a mother get her baby back is priceless. Beyond that, God has blessed us beyond measure. To see God’s family step in and help us through the hard times has been so humbling and encouraging (just today I was talking to a woman about my now adopted son, and she told me what a blessing it was to try to rock him in the nursery at church, during his 2 months of screaming constantly, because she knew I was getting a break from what I was dealing with every day). And, of course, we just finalized our adoption on October 19, 2016. The joy of holding my son, who I know God specifically brought to me after years of having that desire on my heart, cannot be put into words.

C&T: If there is one thing you would want people to know about the process of adoption, what would it be?
Christa: It’s hard. There are many times you feel very alone and invisible. New moms who have their children biologically get baby showers, meals brought to them, and sweet gifts galore. Adoptive, and especially foster moms, don’t get that. They may have been up all night with newborns for months, due to strings of placements, but not many think to bring them a meal. Recently, one friend who is an awesome foster mom finally had a shower thrown for her after 4 or 5 placements. She was telling how special it was, partly because not long before, her mom bought her some things and she said, “these would normally be baby shower gifts, but since you’ve not had one I thought I’d go ahead and give them to you now.”. Also, children from hard places deal with very different issues than biological children, so many times in conversation you end up simply feeling left out or looked down upon because people simply don’t understand.

C&T: What has been the most helpful post-adoption resource for you?
Christa: Well, I’m not far post-adoption, but I’d say the most helpful thing throughout fostering has been people with ears to listen and not quick to try to offer advice (since generally they don’t understand) and people who tell me how they’re going to help, rather than ask, “what do you need?”. We have one family who will occasionally simply say, “you’ve not asked us to watch the kids in awhile; when this week do you want us to watch them?”. Because, honestly, you’re so tired and stressed out, you don’t even know how to ask for help. I know some families who have had friends just show up and do lawn care and others who have had a friend show up just to do the dishes and sweep the floor. Those things are amazing after having dealt with court hearings, visitations, paperwork, and home visits.

C&T: How did you/do you want to be supported before and after the adoption took place?
Christa: Since we did through foster care, monetary wasn’t important to us, but again, tangible actions have blessed us beyond measure!

C&T: What would be your advice to someone else going through the same experience?
Christa: My advice: PRAY! You cannot do adoption on your own. It is too hard. You have to be relying on God to help you through. He has to be your foundation. Also, make sure you and your husband are on the same page. An adopted child is not going to help your marriage. It will put so much more stress and strain on your relationship. If you are not in sync, you cannot be what that child needs. I’ve watched many marriages fall apart due to thinking that bringing a child home will fix their problems.

Christa Adams and her husband Justin will be married 40 years on February 18, 2052 (meaning this February, they will celebrate their 5th anniversary). Justin is an audio engineer at FamilyLife, a ministry to care for marriages and families, in Little Rock, AR and Christa is now simply known as “Momma”. Christa loves serving in the children’s ministry at church and is always up for whatever adventure God may present next- the problem comes when He says it’s time to stay put for awhile.

Catch up on the previous posts in this series:
Part 1: An Interview with Elisabeth Ream: A Story of International Adoptions on the Ground
Part 2: An Interview with Hope Helms: The Journey to Adoption
Part 3: An Interview with Kathryn Thompson: The Story of an Adoptee
Part 4: An Interview with Kristin Campbell: A Story of Multiple Adoptions

5 Ways to Support Your Husband in a Busy Season

11 / 3 / 1611 / 3 / 16

We are delighted to bring you a guest post today from a friend of mine (Laurel). Jess and I met earlier this year at an incredible and intense personal development seminar. Sometimes you have old friends with whom your friendships have seasoned nicely over the years of changes, joys, and trails. Other times you meet a new friend, who happens to have a LOT in common with you and a similar vision for life. That’s Jess. We’ve enjoyed so much sharing about our lives as stay-at-home moms and as moms of two toddler boys each. Additionally, I’ve really appreciated the heart Jess has shown through our personal correspondence (aka- Facebook Messenger) as she has supported her husband through a busy phase of life, so much so that I’ve asked (and she has so willingly agreed) to write as a guest on Canvas and Table. I’m certain you will appreciate the words she has to share!

We’re in a season, our little family, a season of changes and challenges. A season of long days and short nights. A season we weren’t quite expecting, but are fully embracing. Three years ago I left my full-time teaching career to be home with my children. I never in a million years thought that I’d be a “stay-at-home” mama, but here I am spending my days nurturing and fostering two tiny humans. This is the work I was called to do, to mother these sweet boys while my husband works hard to provide for our family.

This past year has been a rough one for my husband as he has taken on some new endeavors and had to navigate a new role within his company. He works long, often unpredictable hours, and spends his time at home pursing another venture we’re super excited about. Most days he’s maxed out before even coming home, having given himself fully to his career and passion. Though it’s hard to be on the receiving end of that some days, God has really challenged me this year to find ways to fully support my husband in this stress-filled season we’re in.

I want to share with you 5 ways I’ve been working to support my husband more fully during this season.

1. Do things for him joyfully. Get up early and make him breakfast – I’m so not a morning person; most days my children are my wake-up call. But there are many times when my husband has to head into work well before the kids wake up and instead of just laying in bed and catching some extra sleep, I’ll get up and cook him a warm breakfast while he’s showering. What a blessing it is to enjoy breakfast together, just the two of us! I also love to cook his favorite dinner, even if he won’t be home to eat it…he’ll surely enjoy the leftovers just as much when he does get home! My boys and I like to bake his favorite treat together, then drop it off at the office to surprise him. Even if we don’t see him when we drop it off, he’s so surprised and reminded of us when he does stumble upon the treat at his desk! Showing your love and appreciation for your husband in tangible ways, while maintaining a joyful heart will fill you both up!

2. Listen and stay positive. After a long day with toddlers, all I want to do is dump my frustrations on him and engage in an adult conversation without interruption! But, sometimes it’s best to be a listening ear and allow him to unload from his stressful day before dumping the days frustrations on him. Not every day is great, but there is good in every day! When you do share about your day, focus on that. Life with toddlers can be messy and unpredictable, filled with loads of challenges, but amidst the chaos, there is so much joy! Share that joy with your husband; I guarantee he wishes he could experience those moments with you each and every day!

3. Encourage him to care for himself. When you see your husband struggling, encourage him. As mamas we’re often reminded that “you can’t pour from an empty cup” and the same is true for your husband. Find ways to help him fill his cup. Encourage him to pursue a hobby or interest. Encourage him to go to the gym, get outside, or just read a book. There is a very noticeable change in my husband’s attitude and demeanor when he gets home from the gym. I do my best to encourage him to go as often as he needs, because I know it’s not only good for him physically, but mentally as well. Just like us, our husbands often put their self-care needs on the back burner as they struggle to balance working to provide for their family and being present to care for their family.

4. Don’t nag or compare. My husband and I have never been big fans of traditional gender roles. We’ve always approached our home with a team effort…if a task needs to be done, we just do it! However, over the past few years as I’ve been home full-time, many of the traditional gender roles have emerged in our home. I do the majority of the cooking, cleaning, and child-rearing, and he cares for our property, maintains our cars, and addresses household repairs. We still function as a team, but with much more defined roles. There are days, however, when I want to throw my hands up and ask him, “When was the the last time you washed dishes or did a load of laundry?”. I want to point out all the things I’m doing, yet totally ignore the unseen ways he’s contributing to our family. Friends, nagging and comparison are never productive. Keeping score only causes resentment and frustration. If you need help around the house, just ask! It’s so much more productive and respectful to admit that you can’t do it all than to nag your husband about how he hasn’t helped!

5. Have fun. Something I’ve struggled with during this season is whether or not to fill up our weekends. My husband rarely gets a typical weekend, so I try not to plan things on the weekends so that he can be home, catch up on household chores, and just relax. I’m very conscious of giving him that time, as I know it’s a rarity. However, over the past few months, I’ve made a point to go ahead and plan that special family outing or insist on a spontaneous family trip to the zoo when he is home. I sometimes forget that just because my husband doesn’t initiate or suggest these types of activities, doesn’t mean that he doesn’t value them!

Friends, this season we’re in is HARD. Raising children is HARD. But it’s also such an incredible blessing. I count it an honor to be able to support him in his work and make it my mission to never take for granted the sacrifices he makes so that I can be home full-time. I pray that if you, too, are in a stressful season, that you can find comfort in knowing that you’re not alone in this marriage and parenthood journey.

Hi there! I’m Jess. I live in Northern Indiana with my amazing husband, Dan, and our two sweet boys, Caleb and Abel. We live a simple life. Enjoy getting our hands dirty. Creating things. Spending as much time as possible as a family. Dreaming big. Being outdoors. Cooking with vegetables grown in our very own garden. www.getoiling.com/jessankney

Leave a comment below and share which suggestion that Jess shared to be most helpful or some way that you have found to support your own husband when he is in a stressful season.

What To Do In The Waiting

9 / 7 / 16

Waiting- none of us like it but all of us do it. It’s something that crosses racial boundaries, income lines, and affects people of all age. It’s something that’s literally as old as time- Adam himself had to wait for Eve to be created- but something all people still struggle with now and again. Waiting creates an emotion when the period of waiting lasts longer than we think it should. Ask any impatient person in a line and they will tell you something is happening (the line is moving too slowly, the checker should be working faster) that is causing them to wait longer than they believe to be necessary.

Certain days of the year highlight waiting that has become downright painful. Valentine’s Day is a very uncomfortable day to some singles, while Mother’s Day & Father’s Day can carry a very heavy emotion for couples struggling with infertility. A myriad of other circumstances, from buying or selling a house to waiting on an adoption or organ transplant, carry with them some very real emotions tied to a period of waiting that anyone who has gone through them could relate about. A common expression in these times of waiting is the feeling of “if only that thing were here, how well could I steward that gift or spend my time!”. Singles that feel they would make a loving spouse, adults that feel they would make wonderful parents….yet there they still are are, waiting.

I’m currently in a big, huge season of “wait” of my own- one that has far outlasted any other previous seasons of waiting I have been through. There are some hard-learned lessons God has taught me- and through the past few years, I have been reminded of the other times I waited for things I deeply desired, and how each and every one taught me something very specific. While most times I could even see the reasons for the wait on the other side, even in the ones which I still can’t understand why I needed to go through the waiting season, I know God taught me some invaluable lessons through the process. I’m sharing with you some of the lessons from my wait, and I hope it encourages you and equips you for how to spend your wait.

Live in the present. One of the most difficult hurdles to get over in times of waiting, in my experience, has been to choose to be all-here in the present, even when I deeply desire a future that has yet to arrive. This has meant choosing to redirect my thoughts, spending time considering the blessings of this season, purposely planning activities that make the most of this time, and choosing to enjoy it as long as it may last. Embracing this is so incredibly freeing, and while it won’t eliminate the emotions of waiting, it does enable you to not dwell on the things you have yet to come into in your life with an unhealthy amount of time spent thinking about the things that have yet to pass in your life.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Matthew 6:34
“Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.” Philippians 4:11
Trust in the Lord. Waiting isn’t a popular activity for a reason- it can leave you feeling dejected, uninspired, & with a sense of purposelessness. Yet, God has allowed you to be in that season for a reason, and trusting His reasons for the wait and purposing to be the best version of yourself in the season can serve to inspire and encourage you as you delve in to the Word of God, choose to be a good friend, and care about what others care about despite what seems to you to be a less-than-perfect circumstance.
“Trust in the Lord and do good.” Psalm 37:3
Do good. The second part of Psalm 37:3 is often overlooked- it is a partnership; a related relationship between trusting in the Lord and doing good. Depending on what you’re going through, you might not want to be very involved in the lives of others. Whether you’re waiting to get married, to have a baby, to go to school, for that transplant to come through, or in a season of painful emotions you are waiting to pass, it can be very easy to decide to stay away from places that remind you of others that have those things you wish you had. I have found that following God in obedience and doing good among those whose circumstances can remind me of what I’m waiting for can be the most profound “good work” of faith in my season of waiting. I would challenge you to make the decision to stop shielding yourself from what makes you uncomfortable and discover the way acting in faith actually serves to sooth your heart during your wait, when you are doing it unto the Lord and not for how man is going to react to your actions.
“So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.” James 2:17

I’ve made this graphic of Psalm 37:3 to share with you below. It very much impacted me when I spent time considering the impact of this verse & James 2:17 on my life- that without faith and works of faith, my trust in the Lord was dead. I encourage you to save the image, make it your phone screensaver, and walk in trust while doing good in Christ and find your purpose in the waiting!

I wanted to note that I am not implying that there is not a need to process the emotions of waiting- or diminish how deep those emotions may be. I encourage you to find your safe people- people you can share your journey with, be honest with about the emotions, cry with, laugh with, and have the safety in which to share the ups & downs of your journey. If you have no idea where to find these people, pray for people who will pray with you, pray for you, and encourage you to walk forward in faith & good works. Wherever you’re at, I encourage you to leave a comment below- I would love to be praying for you, too!

5 Simple Ways To Speak Anyone’s Love Language

7 / 14 / 16

Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages has been a huge help to so many, helping us all discover the languages of Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Here’s a list of five simple ways to communicate in each of these universal languages, and what to be aware of as you do:

Speak life. Let the people in your life know they are loved and appreciated. Take the time to encourage and affirm them. Listen to what they have to say and speak to them based on the words coming from their heart. If this is their top love language…say everything- a LOT. Make sure you are telling them often not just that they mean a lot to you, but why they do. Don’t just tell them you love them, tell them things you love about them. Describe your feelings when saying “thank you”. Use lots of descriptives when talking to something who ranks high in words of affirmation!
Practical ways to speak life: Cards, notes, text messages, letters
Be kind. Go out of your way to do nice things for the people in your life. Hold the door open, wash the dishes, give a foot rub, and generally be available to help in the everyday with things that will make the lives easier of the people you love. If this is their top love language…make sure you’re not lacking follow-through. If you say you’re going to help with something, be sure to help, consistently. Give acts of service without being asked- this is very important to the person who receives love this way. Someone who ranks high in acts of service sees helpful, cement acts as love in action- and nothing else says “I love you” to them the way actually doing things with and for them does.
Practical ways to be kind: Performing a chore, making a meal, cleaning a car (all without being asked)
Go out of your way to bring joy to someone else’s day. Who doesn’t enjoy getting little gifts now and again? Find little ways to bless the people in your life- whether by bringing coffee or breakfast to the office for your coworkers, flowers to your mom, a gift card for your dad, or a personalized gift for your spouse. If this is their top love language…make gift-giving a top priority. Someone who ranks high in receiving gifts can feel a bit taken for granted when they keep speaking their language (by giving gifts) and don’t see their loved ones acting in kind. Be aware that it isn’t about how big the gift is (although this may not be as true with birthdays and anniversaries), as much as it is about the fact that you know how to buy a gift they will like and you are willing to spend the money & time to get it and give it to them.
Practical ways to bring joy to someone else’s day: Gift card, present, coffee, flowers, book, that thing they’ve been wanting
Spend time doing something meaningful. One of the universal ways many people feel loved is by knowing someone else takes the time to do things that interest them. Put away your phone (unless it’s required for the activity) and spend intentional time with your loved ones doing things that mean something to them. This might be as simple as watching a movie or taking a walk and as complex as going to a museum or gun show. If this is their top love language…your attitude will matter more than it already would. If you’re spending time with them and you don’t seem happy, it won’t mean nearly as much as it would otherwise. Be sure that you aren’t spending more quality time with someone else other than your spouse, if this is their love language. Be sure to be “all there” and give them your undivided attention.
Practical ways to spend time: Create a “day out” or “day in” itinerary, go on a coffee date, go on a weekend getaway, eat a meal at a quiet table together (all one-on-one)
Share the love. A hug, a high-five, and any kind of physical act of affection mean a lot to most people. As you discover how your loved ones want to be loved on and find the appropriate balance for your relationship, find non-verbal ways to show affection to the people in your life. If this is their top love language…it’s important to recognize that these people usually feel like they need hugs the way they need air. A bear hug, deep kiss, or warm embrace probably means more to them than any of the other above-mentioned actions. Holding hands, spontaneously hugging, and taking any sort of initiative to show affection (and receive affection) physically means a great deal to anyone with this language.
Practical ways to share the love: Hugs, kisses, hand-holding, stroking one’s hair

What are some ways you love to be shown love? Comment below!

Not sure which love language you speak? You can find how your love languages rank here.

The Missing Member: Thoughts on Miscarriage | Part 1: Processing the Pain

9 / 29 / 159 / 29 / 15

^{This post is the first of a series of three regarding miscarriage. Our intention is not to overlook other types of loss, but to shed understanding for those experiencing miscarriage or ministering to those who have lost through miscarriage. We also understand that this is a trigger for many mamas. We love you and pray for healing in your hearts.}

It was Spring 2014. Our first child was a year old and we were talking about trying for another baby soon. Before long, a test came back positive. We were excited and we were ready! It didn’t take long for us to start planning a nursery (the soon-to-be big brother and new baby would share). And me? I was eagerly anticipating the miraculous labor and birthing process.

The morning sickness set in almost right away. I remember sitting in a restaurant with my little family and panicking to come up with a plan as a wave of nausea swept over me. My first thought was relief. After all, I’ve heard so many times that morning sickness just means all the hormones are at good levels. Things hummed along nicely.

For a single week.

One day, things were fine. The next day, there was blood. The bright red kind that you read so many warnings about on pregnancy blogs. Over the next four days we waited and prayed. We hoped and prayed for a miracle. We agonized and wept many tears at the possibility of loss. On Friday, our test results came back. It was a cold “negative”. Why am I sharing this? Because it happens all around you. Did you know that statistics say that one in every four pregnancies end with a loss? If you yourself have not lost, you likely know more than one family who has.

Processing Loss

#1 – Take Time to Absorb the Initial Shock My husband and I took the next day to just get away and just talk and pray and process. It was so good for us to weep and talk as we needed to, without any outside pressures.

#2 – Name Your Baby Please don’t brush it off as “pregnancy loss” or “not being pregnant any more”. You were blessed with a tiny life that was given by a sovereign, loving God. That tiny baby – that tiny human – fulfilled the purpose God orchestrated for His glory in a short time just as much as an old person who fulfilled their purpose in many decades. Your baby deserves to be given the basic privilege of personhood: a name of his or her own.

#3 – Write it Down Part of processing is allowing yourself to look at the wound instead of covering it with a bandaid. Don’t worry about making it neat and tidy. This isn’t necessarily for anyone else to read. This is for you to verbalize what you’re feeling. This is for you, to look the wound in the face and begin healing.

#4 – Don’t “Get Over It” A dear friend of mine lost her only brother a few years ago in sudden and difficult circumstances. Her wise words to me were this: “You don’t get over it. You just move on.” The point is that loss is part of your story now. It will change you and that’s okay. Don’t forget the pain. Take the pain and walk forward, allowing the Lord to use this part of your life to His glory.

#5 – Accept the Way You Grieve It’s so true that we each have a different style of grieving. My husband and I both handled the loss differently. For me, it meant many, many tears and difficult days. It may not look the same for you. That’s okay!

#6 – Remember Fondly There are two dates that will never be quite the same for you: the date of your miscarriage (or the date you found out your baby had passed on) and your due date (the day your baby “should” have been born). Use these days as opportunities to continue processing, to share with others, and to gratefully remember that little one’s life. Our family has chosen to pick a special, color-filled bouquet of flowers to display in memory of our baby on the date of our loss. Some families release balloons. Others make a birthday cake.

#7 – Big Love for One So Small There will be hard days. There will be things you see that remind you of the little one you lost. There will be days you can’t stop crying. There will be moments you tangibly feel like someone is missing from the family get-togethers and family portraits. All that means is that you love that baby!

Walking through miscarriage has so many ramifications: suddenly you’re fallible and pregnancy isn’t just about waiting for 40 weeks. Watching others walk through miscarriage presents so many challenges: how to you love the family and help them?

Parts 2 & 3 of this series coming soon.

In tender, loving memory of our second baby, Elianna Hope (“God has answered our desire for hope”) . April 1, 2014

“Because your steadfast love is better than life, my lips will praise you.” Psalm 63:3

Encouraging women to live life well.

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